One of my housemates, "Minnesota", is a total asswipe who does nothing at home but sit on his lazy ass. I always thought he was a little strange but overall didn't mind the guy too much. However, over the past few months he has provided me with plenty of opportunities for me to hate him even more. I have mulled over the many issues I have with him and have come up with a brief list to outline exactly what he does that is so frustrating. Since I am most definitely not a confrontational person, these findings are posted in a passive-aggressive way: anonymously on my blog where he will never see it. Any of you that have/have had roommates, you will understand this completely.
*Ahem*
Dear Minnesota,
Please stop being an asshole and start doing the following things:
1. Shovel the fricken sidewalk. I honestly think that Justin and I are the only two people who have ever shoveled that sidewalk and Justin doesn't even live here! If I can do it, so can you.
2. Sweep or mop the god damn floor. It isn't difficult. I'd be happy with you doing just one of the two. But no, apparently being clean is not for you. In fact, when I told you that I had mopped and swept the floor one day you played stupid and pretended we didn't own a mop or broom. The mop and bucket are literally in the middle of the kitchen. I call bull shit.
3. Wash your hands. Seriously. The two guys on the main floor (Minnesota and Brownie) did not have soap in their bathroom for nearly a month and a half before I finally got fed up and bought them a bottle of soap. They haven't used any of it. It is still sitting on the counter with nothing taken out of the bottle. Disgusting.
4. Unclog your toilet. I know that right now you're the only one living on the main floor, but the main floor bathroom is the one that guests use when they come over. It is disgusting when it is nearly overflowing with your shit. It's not like you're in a rush, you were at home the entire day. Take a plunger and fix it.
5. Unstack or at least put on the dishwasher when it's full. It isn't difficult.
6. Stop creeping outside my bedroom. I have heard you walking around up here on several occasions. You have absolutely NO reason to be up on the second floor besides to do laundry. When you're up here and not doing laundry its a super creepy. I shouldn't have to lock my bedroom door when I'm sitting in my room.
7. Take out the garbage! oh my god this one annoys me. you are the one dumping raw fish into the garbage and it is your fault that it stinks so take it out! Even if it isn't you fault, it is common courtesy. If its full, change it. The garbage bins are right across the street. And no, putting it on the back step does not count ESPECIALLY when you leave it for two days and animals bite through the bag and spread it all over the lawn. Trust me, I heard all about that.
8. Using my dish soap and not bothering to buy one once it runs out. I've been waiting for you to replace it just simply due to principle. But no, I'm still waiting. I ended up buying my own new one and hiding it from you.
8. When our landlord comes to check on the house, help clean. A and I were definitely the only ones in the house that bothered to do anything and I cleaned the entire house (minus your disgusting bathroom) from top to bottom. We all knew she was coming, so we all should chip in.
In summary: Stop being filthy, get off your lazy ass, and chip in around the house. Equal rent = equal chores.
Sincerely,
S
Oh, and P.S. In case you didn't catch it, I hate you
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