No Party Would be Complete Without One

Yesterday I wrote my last final exam ever. It marked the end of my coursework for my undergraduate degree. So of course, the university thing to do is go out drinking to celebrate; in this case to a kegger hosted by another ED student.

I have come to the conclusion that every university party has a slutty drunk girl there. In fact, I am confident in concluding that no party would be complete without one.

The slutty drunk girl at our kegger stumbled in around 8pm, already fairly drunk. She was wearing jeans and a shirt that was way too small for her - the bottom just barely covered her bellybutton. Typically, I wouldn't care what someone was wearing but this shirt was not flattering on this poor girl at all. She had very prominent love handles. Like, huge ones. She said hi to a guy I was talking to, I asked what her name was, and he had no idea who she was, so we dubbed her "Muffintop".

When J saw her, he recognized her instantly from school (although I've never seen her in my life). To describe her, you must hear how he put it: "Its all in her eyes. She has those eyes that if you are unfortunate enough to make eye contact with her, you feel like you need to go scrub yourself with bleach in the shower for a while." 

There is always at least one.

Muffintop strolled into the kitchen a little while later when I was talking with J and two other guys ("SuperDave" and "LiqourRep"). She walks up to the two other guys and they both just reach down her shirt and grab her bare boobs. Instead of slapping them she just stood there giggling like a little school girl.

J and I must have had pretty stunned expressions on our faces because LiqourRep said "oh its cool, she loves it" and after she nodded, he began to motorboat her chest right before taking a boob all the way out and sucking on her nipple. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN! Once again Muffintop just sat there smiling, loving every second of it.

J and I remained even more stunned (if possible), which LiquorRep must have noticed because he said: "Oh don't worry. She's my sister."

Umm WTF?

Not gonna lie, we left shortly after this.

But let me tell ya, there is nothing like some incest to end off the night.